a matter of convenience?

Sometimes we have so much going on in our lives that we find our relationship with Christ something to be fit in with all our other activities and events. You know, we take the kids to soccer, we join the latest self-help group, we go to church...we find ways to wedge in our "religious commitment," although too often we forego that commitment if we find it inconvenient or interruptive to our schedule.

As I meditate on the account of Jesus' birth some more (this is obviously a good time to do so, I don't do it enough the rest of the year), I think again about this issue of convenience. It matters, it really does, because God is never a God of convenience. To follow him and his plan will almost always disrupt my schedule, my plans, my agenda. Look again at the story:

- It was an obvious "inconvenience" for Mary (and Joseph) to discover her pregnancy. It change everything in their hopes, their plans, their reputations;

- And how inconvenient for Joseph and Mary to have to leave Nazareth and travel to Bethlehem for the census (what was God thinking?);

- Nowhere to stay when they got to town? You've got to be kidding! The young couple had to ask around town to try to find a room, and she was soooo pregnant!

- The innkeeper may have been somewhat annoyed in trying to find somewhere for this late-arriving couple to stay. And they couldn't have been too thrilled about having to bed down in a barn just when she was due to give birth;

- Shepherds were minding their own business when angels interrupted their night with good news. Fine enough, but then these pastors had to leave their flocks and find a baby in a barn. Couldn't the angels have provided an easier assignment?

- At the same time, magi a thousand miles away realized that something had just shaken their world and they were determined to find it. But it wouldn't be easy. They would have to travel for many months, following a star night after night through the desert, hoping there would be something tangible at the end of the journey.

None of these were events of convenience. Probably because the most important things God brings to us are designed to stop us and make us choose between what's convenient and what really matters. If God interrupted our lives like he did all these peoples' what would we say? How would we respond? Would we excitedly follow what we believed we were being led to do? Would we roll our eyes and grudgingly obey? Would we check our pda's and calendars to make sure we could fit in whatever it was God was talking to us about?

As we celebrate Christ's birth today (and beyond), never forget that at the greatest plans God has for you will most likely be inconvenient...and that's by design. For it's when we clear our schedules to make room for him that we find him ready to change us in ways we could never imagine. So be open, be ready and look for God to change things up in your busy life.

Can you think of a better gift this time of year? Merry Christmas!

birthday greetings

David Letterman pointed out on his show last night:

You know, another celebrity's having a birthday this week.

Happy birthday, Jesus!

Well said, Dave. Well said. And thanks for reminding us.

Happy birthday, Jesus.

the bethlehem discovery

I spoke with a young man recently who was interested in Christianity. His greatest stumbling block was not being able to comprehend how God could love and forgive him. You see, he had done so much "bad" stuff in his life, had been involved in so much of which he was now ashamed, had let down and alienated so many people, had lived a life of debauchery that the idea of being forgiven of all that by the God's grace was inconceivable. He told me that it wasn't fair that he could have done all he had done and then tell God that he believed in him, was sorry for his actions and that he would give him his life...and that God would forgive him. It wasn't fair.

We talked a lot about these ideas and others. And I told him that he was right. It isn't fair. It absolutely isn't. But giving gifts isn't about being fair (or at least it shouldn't be). It's about love. It's about generosity. About grace. And it's about the motive and heart of the giver. When a gift is rightly given, it's based the heart and desire of the giver, not on the worth of the recipient. At Christmas we recognize that God displayed his grace, his generosity and love by sending his son as a gift to us. He would be our Savior, the one who would save us from our sins. He would be God with us, Emmanuel. It was never designed to be fair. It was all about grace.

The only catch with a gift is that it must be received to be of any value. A gift offered but refused, or taken but never opened is pointless. The whole process requires a connection, a relationship of sorts, some response on the part of the one on the receiving end. It's not enough to intellectually understand what God has done, or to agree with him in principle. A gift has been given. That gift must be received through a personal connection. And I saw that again as I read the Christmas story the other day, and thought about the response of the shepherds following their wondrous encounter with the baby Jesus:

The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told. Luke 2:20

Those men had been told about God's gift, but the change took place when they, by faith, chose to interact with the gift that had been given. Their experience (what they heard and saw) validated what they'd been told, and that made the life-changing difference in each of them.

Remember, God loved us so much that he did NOT send a treatise, a manual, or an organization. His offering was a person- a gift requiring interaction, connection, and relationship in order to be received. When we respond relationally to what we've understood intellectually, we discover the great joy and purpose of what God has for us. Because it's never been about fair.

And aren't you glad for that?

for the person who has everything

I like this time of the year. There's not much that takes place in this world that's recognized by nearly everyone everywhere. Christmas has that kind of impact. And as we scurry about making our plans, sending our cards, attending our parties, and fighting our crowds, we share a common practice- that of giving gifts to each other. Some of us make these gifts, others plan and purchase throughout the year for those we love, but most of us wait until this time to determine what those close to us might want, then figure out how to pay for it, and go out and deal with all the others who also just decided what they're going to buy. Does it get any better than this?

Giving gifts to those who matter to us. I imagine the idea comes from the magi, or "wise men," who traveled from the east (Iraq, perhaps) to find the newborn Messiah, following a star whose brilliance guided them to the home of Jesus (he wasn't in the manger by the time they got there!). When they found him, they worshiped him and offered him gifts of gold, incense and myrrh. Gifts fit for a king.

Have you ever had a tough time figuring out what to buy for the person who has everything? You know what I'm talking about. That relative, friend, co-worker whose coffer is already filled with whatever you might be able to think of or afford. When those dignitaries made their trek across the desert, anticipating their audience with the foretold Messiah, I wonder if they wondered about the gifts they had with them. Whether or not they were appropriate for the occasion. If those in Jesus' circle would gladly receive them. If they had as much value as they believed Jesus did. But they brought them because they were the best they had to offer. Gifts fit for a king.

Which brings me to my final thought. Christmas is a time for giving. But like those wise men, what would you give to Jesus in honor of his birth? What could you bring to him that would be your most valuable possession? I mean he has everything, doesn't he? What could you and I have that he would desire? Hard as it might be for some to comprehend, there is one item he's hoping for. One unique and extremely valuable possession you have that he would love to embrace, if you'd be willing to offer it to him.

This year, why not give Jesus the one gift that will mean everything to him? The gift that only you can give, different than anyone else's. The gift he is hoping for more than any other. This year, if you do nothing else, consider offering what will truly make Jesus happy. A gift fit for the King. Your life.

Merry Christmas to you all!

the great bailout

Unbelievable. That's the only way I know to describe the circus surrounding the recent bailouts in our country. It's been interesting (to say the least) to see companies posture for assistance in the face of mismanaged funds and poor business strategies. Just as interesting to see those sitting in seats of power wielding their authority and "social conscience" in the wake of economic greed and failure.

I'm intrigued with those coming to the table to request financial relief. Seems the bigger you are the greater your chance of help. Pity the "smaller" investment groups who get shut down and turned away, even as larger groups get the help they need, and then respond with lavish, self-serving celebrations. Pity the investors (the little guys) who have gotten hosed while corporate heads still somehow maintain enormous salaries, buy-outs and options. And the perception of the the Big 3 (auto makers) coming to Washington to ask for billions, and yet each one arriving in his private corporate jet! I know there are reasons, explanations and justifications, but didn't someone in Detroit think that was a bad idea?!

Even better has been the response. Of course, the smaller guys have lost out. No bailouts for those with less to offer in return. You see, the grace is offered according to value and worth. The greater the value of the company, the greater the likelihood of grace. But there was also a smugness, a kind of self-righteousness (at least to my ears) that some lawmakers displayed. The heads of the auto industry were reprimanded for their mismanagement. They were told that in the face of their inefficiency and waste they should be replaced. Good thing those same senators aren't held to equivalent standards. There's an awful lot of inefficiency and waste in our government, and I'm pretty sure they bear responsibility in all that.

All this has made me consider again the greatest bailout ever offered. It has to do with the debt we owed God. Scripture makes it clear that our actions, our waste, our inability and unwillingness to do the right thing separated us from God and set us up for huge disaster. Not only were we messed up in the futility of our own thinking, but a certain day of judgment loomed just over the horizon. A time to balance the books and repay all of us for what we've done...and it didn't look promising. Our separation made us God's enemy and our destruction was certain. But God did for us what we couldn't do for ourselves- He provided the mother of all bailout plans. He offered His son, who would be the payment and take the penalty we deserved for our screw-ups...and that penalty was death. Death in our place.

His action made it possible for God and us to reconnect. For those who accept that bailout and walk according to its terms, there's now no more condemnation, no more judgment, no more penalty. We are set free to make wise investments, investments that will stay with us beyond this life into eternity. And that's what Christmas is really about- someone who cared enough about our situation, who found worth and value in us regardless of who we were or what we did, and who moved on our behalf to make it possible for grace to be showered upon us.

I'm grateful for that kind of bailout. And for that kind of God.

no christmas joy in india

What an unholy mess. As I sit in my coffee shop "office" listening to Christmas carols extolling peace on earth and goodwill toward men, I'm reading, pondering and trying to wrap my head around the horrific Mumbai massacre. The more I read, the more disheartened I feel about the possibility of this elusive peace on earth thing. I realize I just how much I still don't understand about how people think and what lengths they will go to in order to accomplish what is of greatest importance to them.

I do, however, understand and believe a few things in relation to these troubling Indian events. First, I know that people like those who carried out such merciless attacks will never be won over through dialogue and reason. They do not function on what we would consider "reasonable" levels. Their agenda calls for the absolute overthrow of their adversaries by whatever means necessary. Violence is (obviously) no deterrent for them. And world leaders would be fools to think that conferencing, negotiation or mutual co-existence are viable options. The thinking is the same, whether it be in India, Somalia, Indonesia, Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan, the US or anywhere else these radicals choose to exert themselves. No negotiations. None. Ever.

Second, I again recognize that the actions of a minority within a system often have the power to influence the direction of the majority. While I believe that the majority of Muslims do not favor the actions of such terrorists, I also know that many, far too many, will allow the actions, directives and demands of these kinds of people to, at some point, determine what they themselves will do. History has demonstrated that violent socio-cultural leaders with agendas have (and will) bend the will of the majority of their people to those agendas. That concerns me greatly.

Third, the very magnitude of this situation (and those like it) is a sober reminder that our world is still in desperate need of One who can truly bring peace on earth...and that those of us who claim to know and follow him have the responsibility to represent his promises to these who need to know. That's the reality of the Christmas message- that humanity has the possibility reconnection with God, and reconciliation with each other through the coming of a Savior. But reality is also that if we who embrace that Savior fail to communicate that message, people will continue to live- and die- in futile adversity. With God, and with each other.

The message of Christmas has now become that much more urgent to me this year. Joy to the world? The world? Somehow, I think you and I have a part to play in that expression being realized.

happy thanksgiving!

Just a quick shout out to all of you wishing you a most Happy Thanksgiving! Make sure you take time this season and thank God for all you have. I know it's east to see the tough stuff before so many of us- the economy is struggling (but at least gas is down!), joblessness is up, people are needing more than ever before. But do you think that this goes unnoticed by God? Of course not! In fact, He may want to use times like these to grab our attention and help us straighten out our priorities. Remember, He still rules, He still loves you, and He still wants to make His ways known through you. So thank Him for what you have...and thank Him for the tough times as well, since they can make you tougher- if you allow them to do so.

And I wanted to include this thought on the marquee of a local hotel near us. It's poignant and important for us to think about, not only during the holidays but each day. If you have kids, hug them, love on them, and remember how precious they truly are to your life. If you don't have kids, look around for some that need a word of love, of encouragement, of hope. Then be the one who provides it. Not only will you be thankful that you did, but I'm pretty sure they will be, too.

Happy Thanksgiving!

on loving your neighbor

Sometimes I come across something that someone else has written that hits the mark in a way that makes me stop and think. I want to share one such writing, shared by a friend named Julie:

I stopped at the bank on a usual busy day. There in the strip mall near the bank I saw an outing of local handicapped adults and their helpers. One of the men I always recognize has a few phases he repeats so enthusiastically, today's being, "I can catch that, I can catch that." I slow my walk and watch as they shuffle along, most surely to the Dollar Store.

People step aside to clear the path and they smile kindly. Others nod and smile, as one fit older lady calls loudly to them, "Afternoon, folks". Most don't even seem to understand she is talking to them, but one smaller helper lady responds softly. Funny, some of the helpers of these folks just walk along chatting in their foreign and quick-sounding tongues, as if the life in their charge isn't even there.

Then it struck me. I yield to them, others too, and some may even greet this group when they might normally pass on by. I'm not really sure but it seems to be that way. Why? I think because we can so easily see their "brokeness." Now we know that all of us are broken, but these folks just happen to wear their brokeness where it can't be hidden. Many of us treat them with kindness, compassion and outward love in response to so easily seeing how fragile their spirit is.

I share this story with you because without Christ we are all broken without hope. I also know that this world would be lifted up if we remember just how fragile all of us are, even though we may not see that fragility and even though we try and hide it. I hope others see you for the precious glory of God's special creation you are and will love you. I hope you can love those around you,remembering how Christ so obviously loves us all. I'm gonna look hard to see how special those are around me~since it may not be as obvious as the group on their day trip at the strip mall.

Well said, Julie. And reflective of such great need in this world. Thanks.

my unsettled soul

It's been a tough week in my spirit. I returned Sunday night from a four-day trip with a ministry team from our church. We were in eastern Arizona, serving on the San Carlos Apache Reservation. This trip always hits me differently than others. We had a great time (21 of us in all) working with the Arizona Reservation Ministry, and coming alongside them as they pour themselves out for the Apache people. We assisted in the construction of homes on the reservation, played with kids, and tried to make connections with those around us. The experience is always a positive one, and is of great value. But it always leaves me unsettled and bothered. Maybe more than anywhere else I go.

The level of despair and hopelessness that exists in this location is beyond measure. It's difficult to describe the intensity of the factors that block the way of any person, young or old, succeeding here. Unemployment on the reservation stands at more than 75%. More than half the homes have no running water or electricity. Alcohol consumption is rampant, as are drug usage and dealing (meth and coke being the preferred choices). Gangs are so prevalent (Bloods and Crips- can you believe it?!) that everyone, youth and adult alike, are afraid for their safety. When the sun sets, everyone retreats inside. It's not safe to be out.

There's little or no hope in young people's hearts for their futures. One of greatest cultural influencers is MTV. Many of the young people emulate what they see there, almost none of it positive. Abuse in all forms is high, and little of substance is done about it. It's as if invisible bars exist on the borders of the land, restraining those within, and withstanding those without. With the exception of Haiti, there may be less hope here than anywhere else I have been- and that includes the slums of Nairobi, Mexico City and Manila.

Each time I visit San Carlos, my heart is ripped out a little more. I don't have a lot of answers- just a mixed bag of feelings, emotions and frustrations. How we allow such despair in our own land- and especially toward those we've historically treated so poorly to begin with- boggles my mind and makes my heart scream. But why do we expect our government to fix things? Didn't it actually create so much of this? I'm convinced that change will only happen when we- people like you and me- take it upon ourselves to do something about it. And until we do, the San Carlos Apache, and countless others like them, will continue down a ragged road of hopelessness and destruction. But does it really matter to us?

If you just knew some of the people at San Carlos, you'd know that it should.

shaking the etch-a-sketch

Remember this device (or do you even know what it is?!)? It's an Etch-a-Sketch, a great toy from the 60's that allows you to sketch a picture using knobs that direct a stylus across a field of aluminum powder and plastic beads. The cool part is that when you are finished with what kinda looks like the picture you were imagining (really, how good were you with this thing anyway?!) you simply turn the surface upside down and shake, the picture is erased and you begin again. Ah, the memories...

Whenever we have a national election, there is a sort of Etch-a-Sketch phenomenon that seems to overtake us. Regardless of what has taken place the last four years, or even during the campaign period, we grant ourselves permission to "shake the Etch-a-Sketch" and try again. This year it's no different. Obama's election marks a shift, a shaking of our culture in a number of ways. And idealists, optimists, and hopefulists (I know it's not a word, but I like it) envision the days ahead with a new, better picture drawn. At least better in their eyes, and hopefully in the eyes of most. Whether our newest artist to hold the national Etch-a-Sketch is any better at drawing a picture than what has been produced so far this century remains to be seen.

In a time of cautious optimism and certain uncertainty, there are two items that stand out for me. First, I'm prouder of my country today because of its maturity to see beyond the color of a person's skin in choosing its next leader. I know there are differing opinions of the character and competency of the candidate chosen (isn't that almost always the case?). But it's important to recognize the fact that, given our history and struggle with race, a choice was made that has caught the attention of the world and has prompted them consider that maybe, just maybe, the qualities we say exist here really do.

The other item that stands out to me is that, as a person of faith, I am now expected (by the dictates of that faith) to respect, honor and pray for my new president. I may or may not like him, may or may not have voted for him, may or may not agree with him, but the Scriptures tell me that I have a responsibility toward him (you can check out passages like Roman 13:7, Titus 3:1-2, and 1 Peter 2:13-17). And if you also are a person of faith, that same responsibility is yours as well.

So regardless of our position, stance or opinion, we all have a role in helping draw a new picture for our future. Will we draw it perfectly, just the way we like? Probably not- we rarely do. But if not, at least we can hope to shake it at some point and try again. After all, practice makes perfect...or at least, better.

shed a tear?

I cried this morning.

Maybe you saw the story in the news a couple of weeks ago. A homeless man in downtown Los Angeles was doused with gasoline by some youths and set on fire. Although people tried to extinguish the flames, it was too little, too late. He died.

When my son first told me of the incident, I shook my head and sighed. The travesty, the hideousness, the inequity of it all. But no tears. Today I took time to read about this man's life. As I read some of the back stories, I was again struck by that simple truth: everyone has a story, everyone has value, everyone is someone.

This man actually had a name- John Robert McGraham (this is him on left). He had a place he called home- 3rd and Berendo. He had friends- people who stopped to check in on him, who helped him with some necessities, who took him to clean up periodically. He had a story- he had once been a bellman at the nearby Ambassador Hotel before it closed. He suffered with depression and had been on the streets for twenty years. He, according to those who knew him, bothered no one, rarely asked for anything, and was a bright spot in the community. And I began to cry.

As I read his story and the responses of grief and love from those who knew him (some seen here at his funeral), I was torn within. How could something like this happen in our midst? Have we become so cold, so unfeeling, so cruel that we see no value in the lives of those we deem less than ourselves? These were (reportedly) youth that took John's life. What have we done that our children behave with no sense of conscience or morality? I cried a little more.

But John had great value in the eyes of his Creator. He had value in the lives of those who knew him. And he was no different than the many others we encounter on the corners and onramps of our lives as we hurry past. I know we don't actively seek their demise or destruction, but could our indifference, our lack of concern, or our own agendas potentially germinate within us the same kind of numbness found in these youth?

I'm not saying that we should necessarily go out and embrace all homeless (although Jesus did talk about giving a party and inviting those sorts, didn't he?). Only that when we pass by such people we acknowledge that they have value, they have a story, they have history. And that they matter to Someone, somewhere. And as He watches, I believe He cries.

For them. And for us.

my purple purse

One of the great ministries at our church is our twice-weekly Community Assistance, during which we provide grocery, transportation and referrals, along with listening ears, caring hearts and a personal touch. Here's a story that comes from one of our workers:

My name is Joyce and serve the church's Food Pantry. We have 80 to 100 people each week that come for food. We talk to them and pray with them. When I first started, I wanted to quit because I couldn't see the purpose and found it depressing. But the Lord wouldn't let me quit, so I went- not wanting to, but compelled to.

It's been a year now and I've gotten to know those less fortunate than myself. There is one homeless woman in her sixties- always smiling and always pleasant. One day as I was talking to and praying with her, I admired her purse. It was a little plastic purple purse. That evening as I went to my car, she was in the parking lot and gave me my own plastic purple purse! It cost her $1.99 and she gave it to me as a gift. I can't describe the feeling that came over me. I felt so very blessed. The Lord confirmed to me that I am where He wants me to be and I'm blessed that a homeless person gave me the gift of my own purple purse. It means everything to me, and makes me feel so humble. Our Lord is awesome.

These are the kinds of blessings- sometimes tough to quantify, but tangible in their own ways- that we receive when we give ourselves for the sake of those around us. Especially those with great need. And you can be assured that Joyce's purple purse is a daily reminder to her of God's great compassion and mercy for us all, as He gave Himself for our needs...that we might give Him our lives and love in return. Our lives, our plastic purple purses. Maybe with little value to others but of immeasurable value to God.

Our God really is awesome.

hope in east africa

I'd like to introduce you to a very special person today. His name is Paul Mutendwa, pictured here recently with Stanley Mutunga, founder of Tumaini International Ministries (Paul is on the left). Tumaini (Swahili for hope), as many of you know, is an organization based in Kenya that provides for the sponsorship of AIDS orphans. Our church partners with them, and we currently sponsor more than 300 kids. Stanley and his wife Rose began this work not so many years ago, hoping to be responsible for 200 children. But, as is often said, we plan and God laughs. Now with more than 800 children being helped more than a THOUSAND on a waiting list (and yes, you read that right), Tumaini is impacting Kenya in a significant fashion.

Back to Paul. Stanley realized that as the work began to burgeon, someone was needed to supervise and oversee the in-country operations. He contacted Paul, who was successful in the business world, and challenged him to use his abilities and skills for the Kingdom in a specific manner. Paul responded to that challenge, left his secular position, and accepted the post of Country Director for Tumaini. For nearly three years, he has worked with and fashioned this outreach so it might expand according the the ever-growing needs around it.

Paul and his family are making a significant impact for the work of the Lord in east Africa. He is currently in the US this month, visiting supporting churches and working with the US board as they continue to consider Tumaini's role. He will be at Knott Avenue this Sunday (November 2), so if you are able, come meet him and discover another reason we believe so much in this vital work.

sticky caveat

More random thoughts about stickiness:

Last night my son and I went to watch the LA Dodgers play the Philadelphia Phillies to determine who will represent the National League (baseball) in this year's World Series. We're loyal Dodger fans and watched with excitement as the park filled to capacity with 56,000 others, most of whom shared our enthusiasm for Los Angeles baseball.

It seemed pretty obvious early on that we shared a stickiness factor that bonded us with each other, especially after the Dodgers took the lead and held it into the last half of the game. There were plenty of cheers, high-fives and encouraging comments throughout our part of the park. But as the game wore on, factors cropped up that revealed flaws in our stickiness.

Perhaps the biggest contributor to the change in our demeanor was a change in score. LA lost their two-run lead (and looked bad doing it), and suddenly that raucous crowd that had spoken with one voice became quiet. We almost immediately became a huge glom of individuals, not nearly so chummy, not nearly so bonded, not nearly so engaged with each other. Then a fight broke out in the section next to us. And it wasn't even with a Phillie fan! Seems two Dodger faithfuls found something that was bigger than their commonality and decided to determine the matter by throwing down (however, I do imagine that alcohol may have been a common thread in their relationship at that point). Someone pointed out that there were more hits in our section that inning than the Dodgers managed the rest of the night. Ouch.

We lost, 7-5. We're dangerously close to being knocked out of the running for the World Series. But the Dodger faithful remain bonded as one, regardless of the outcome, right? Not a chance. Any vestiges of our sticky relationships were trampled quickly in the parking lot, as we tried to escape our nightmare. Fans who had been cheering together, pulling together, hoping together just moments earlier were now suddenly cutting each other off, refusing to let each other in, cursing each other and generally treating each other rudely and with no regard. Didn't seem very sticky to me.

All this to say...beware of counterfeit stickiness. Of programs, ideas or concepts that bring people together and rally them around a common cause. You see, the world promises meaning and stickiness with each other, but fails to deliver (and we often do the same). Stickiness never occurs because of a program or event, although such commonality may be a great starting point. Rather, it's a result of relationships developed through time and intentionality. Never think that just because we have a bunch of people together that we have stickiness. All we have is a bunch of people in one place. Stickiness happens when we discover our connection and begin to invest ourselves in each others' lives, creating a "velcro effect." Then, win or lose we're more concerned for others than ourselves. Their situations, their feelings, their struggles become more important than our own. And we look out for them, not just for ourselves.

Don't get caught up in the crowd. Instead, make connections. Connections that will infuse a level of stickiness in your relationships. Then you'll know that someone has your back, regardless of the score. And that's a recipe for victory every time.

stuck on sticky

More thoughts on our need to be "sticky" and what that means for us:

The idea of being a "sticky church" is that of helping people create and grow relationships that will "velcro" them to each other and to the Church at large, so that they'll remain connected through the ups and downs of life's journey.

I experienced a great example of the impact of stickiness recently. I was meeting with one of the life groups (small groups of 4-15 that gather regularly to connect in a more personal way than a weekend celebration service will allow) that I lead. We've only been meeting a short time, so we're getting to know each other and discover each other's stories.

I asked if anyone had any good things, any blessings to share from the week. One of our older men replied that he had already been blessed by being a part of this group, blessed because of the acceptance he had received. He then looked at us, choked up and said,"You don't know my whole story yet, but I can tell you that for the first 50 years of my life, I had no friends. In fact, you all are the first friends I figure I've ever had."

No friends for 50 years? Can you imagine? He went on to describe his difficulty in opening up his life and letting people in, even family. The more he shared, the more his eyes welled with tears (and the more my eyes welled!) as I heard the pain, the struggle and the hope he dared to seek by being a part of our group.

Do you suppose our group's "sticky quotient" increased in that moment? Suddenly we again saw the importance of relationships, of connecting with each other beyond a surface level. And we became that much more committed to stickiness with each other. Because we need it. Because those around us need it. Because it's the defining mark of those who say they follow Jesus...

By this will all men know you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.

- Jesus

That's why we're stuck on being sticky.

sticky church?

Our pastoral staff just returned from a two-day conference in San Diego County (sure is pretty there), entitled Sticky Church. I know there were plenty of questions among our support staff prior to our going about what kind of conference this was. Just what is a "sticky church," and what does it mean to and for us?

There were close to 700 who gathered on the campus of North Coast Church in Vista to hear from leaders of three large congregations, all talking about one overarching topic: how to get those who attend our churches to stick and not leave out the "back door." The recurring word given to us was that this kind of stickiness doesn't come through programming, events, or even teaching and preaching, but through relationships (duh!). If people are connected in significant relationships, they will most often remain connected to the life of a congregation for the long haul. So, if we want to close our back doors, we must be certain that we are encouraging and providing opportunity for our people to develop connections with others who will help create the kind of stickiness that keeps us together in our journeys.

Not rocket science, is it? In the 90's it was the local bar (remember Cheers?); today it's the local Starbucks (or equivalent). Somewhere we can find a level of friendship and acceptance even with our issues and imperfections. It's what we need, it's what we crave. It's what the body of Christ is designed to be. Sticky. Oh, it gets a bit messy at times, but as long as we hang in, we're gonna make it...together. Stuck together for good. And forever.

So get sticky. You may just help close that back door and help someone connect for life- theirs and yours.

what's a missionary to do?

I was perusing the Internet the other day, and I came across something that left me astounded and nearly flabbergasted. And that's saying something, since I figure I've seen a fair amount of strange and offbeat stuff.

I wandered upon a "Christian" board game unlike anything I've ever seen. As you can see by the picture, it is called "Missionary Conquest" and is described with the following:

Don't miss this exciting game of laughter and strategy! Travel around the world as a missionary and learn to finance your trips with wise investments. Good decisions and risks are major factors in this wonderful game. No Bible knowledge is required to play, win or to enjoy this game.

I can't begin to explain the waterfall of feelings that rushed over me as I looked at this game. After chewing on it for awhile, I pretty much sorted out my thoughts and criticisms in the following order:

1. First, I see this as the kind of stereotypical merchandising that world has come to expect of Christians. I'm pretty sure the average person would look at this and simply shake his or her head at the goofiness of such a concept (What? Are Monopoly or Risk too worldly? And I'm really asking that!);

2. I also think a game like this reinforces the (mis?)understanding that everything religious is about the dollar- and if kids play this game, do they begin to think of missions being about finances and cash investments? I recognize that funding is important (I was a missionary 12 years, after all), but is that what I really want others to think about such a calling?

3. The title! Missionary CONQUEST?? Why not simply revert to the once-popular term, but now understandably insensitive, CRUSADE?! The last thing we need is for the world to think that as cross-cultural workers, our ultimate plan is to go out and conquer! Jesus told us (and showed us) that's it's not about conquest, but about servanthood and sacrifice in order to advance His message. ARRRRGGGHHH! This really gets to me!

4. But most problematic is knowing that, in fact, we have all too often represented the Gospel across national or cultural lines as conquerors. We've gone places and told people (either by word or by action) that we have the answers, that we know best, that we can show them a better way to do things. Instead of going as learners, we've often gone as tellers. Instead of entering cultures in a lowly manner, we've gone as top dogs, with the money, the resources, the influence, and the "right" way of doing things. Instead of enriching cultures, we really have often done more to conquer them- and not just for the Gospel, but for the sake of Western culture as well.

Maybe this game bugs me so much because for all its "wrongness" (in my way of thinking, at least), its very title hits too close to home, too close to the truth. Maybe we need to rethink the way we "do missions" (and, thankfully, many are doing just that) and find out what it really means to empty ourselves, taking the form of a servant, if we are going to go.

After all, that's what the greatest missionary the world has ever seen did.