sticky caveat

More random thoughts about stickiness:

Last night my son and I went to watch the LA Dodgers play the Philadelphia Phillies to determine who will represent the National League (baseball) in this year's World Series. We're loyal Dodger fans and watched with excitement as the park filled to capacity with 56,000 others, most of whom shared our enthusiasm for Los Angeles baseball.

It seemed pretty obvious early on that we shared a stickiness factor that bonded us with each other, especially after the Dodgers took the lead and held it into the last half of the game. There were plenty of cheers, high-fives and encouraging comments throughout our part of the park. But as the game wore on, factors cropped up that revealed flaws in our stickiness.

Perhaps the biggest contributor to the change in our demeanor was a change in score. LA lost their two-run lead (and looked bad doing it), and suddenly that raucous crowd that had spoken with one voice became quiet. We almost immediately became a huge glom of individuals, not nearly so chummy, not nearly so bonded, not nearly so engaged with each other. Then a fight broke out in the section next to us. And it wasn't even with a Phillie fan! Seems two Dodger faithfuls found something that was bigger than their commonality and decided to determine the matter by throwing down (however, I do imagine that alcohol may have been a common thread in their relationship at that point). Someone pointed out that there were more hits in our section that inning than the Dodgers managed the rest of the night. Ouch.

We lost, 7-5. We're dangerously close to being knocked out of the running for the World Series. But the Dodger faithful remain bonded as one, regardless of the outcome, right? Not a chance. Any vestiges of our sticky relationships were trampled quickly in the parking lot, as we tried to escape our nightmare. Fans who had been cheering together, pulling together, hoping together just moments earlier were now suddenly cutting each other off, refusing to let each other in, cursing each other and generally treating each other rudely and with no regard. Didn't seem very sticky to me.

All this to say...beware of counterfeit stickiness. Of programs, ideas or concepts that bring people together and rally them around a common cause. You see, the world promises meaning and stickiness with each other, but fails to deliver (and we often do the same). Stickiness never occurs because of a program or event, although such commonality may be a great starting point. Rather, it's a result of relationships developed through time and intentionality. Never think that just because we have a bunch of people together that we have stickiness. All we have is a bunch of people in one place. Stickiness happens when we discover our connection and begin to invest ourselves in each others' lives, creating a "velcro effect." Then, win or lose we're more concerned for others than ourselves. Their situations, their feelings, their struggles become more important than our own. And we look out for them, not just for ourselves.

Don't get caught up in the crowd. Instead, make connections. Connections that will infuse a level of stickiness in your relationships. Then you'll know that someone has your back, regardless of the score. And that's a recipe for victory every time.